Adult Jokes
Adult Casino Jokes:
Three buddies decided to take their wives on a gambling vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, "7 come 11" all night & I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says "I know what you mean...my old lady was Gambling at black jack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers "hit me light or hit me hard", and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady was gambling the slots the whole time we were there and I woke up each morning with a sore dick and an a$$ full of quarters."
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A man was quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" he says. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it", she replies.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on", he explains. She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house.
Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes to, he says, "What the hell was that for?" "Your horse phoned."
Lady Diana and Pamela Anderson die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them gets in.
St. Peter asks Pamela if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever created, and I'm sure it will please him to be able to see them every day for eternity.
St. Peter thanks Pamela, and asks Diana the same question. Diana drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it. St. Peter says, " Diana, you may go in. Have a nice day"
Pamela is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting, pornographic act, and she gets in and I don't?!!!"
