Casino Jokes to Lighten the Mood
2 Bored Casino Dealers
two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive lady comes in to the casino and wants to bet twenty- thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless." With that she strips naked from the waist down in the casino, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!"
She then begins jumping up and down in the casino and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves the casino. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"
$500 in Las Vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband. "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!" The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!"
Tipping the Dealer
A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer in a casino.
The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?"
The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?"
"Yes."
"Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me."
"Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an eight
